They keep telling me that I cant blame myself for things not working out. Things were not meant to be. I cant accept that. I know that my fears are what ruined things. I should have moved things along sooner. I should have proposed. I should have told you about things that were bothering me.
I get that everyone has my back. Good friends, good family, good therapists. Things that are meant to be will be and that obviously wasn't it. I know my future is in God's hands.
Its hard to move on to new things when I still wish your stuff is in my closet. But new targets are coming. And that space will be filled. My life is in order now more than better before. And I know what I want. Its my time now. I'm ready to be married. I'm no longer scared at all. Fear has been taken from me. Later than I wanted but things are timed according to plan.
I know now that love is all that matters in this life.
So I'm looking up but your burning out.
My heart cant stand how we turned out.
Hi Germany.
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
de-programmed
I feel myself continuing to be de-programmed. The cloud has been lifted. Maybe this was called depression. I don't know. I wake up every day refreshed and ready for battle. All aspects of my life are improving as a result. Its strange when nearly everyday you are thankful for something. Spiritually and mentally I feel I am better than ever.
Hope and faith are what life is all about. It saddens me that for so long I tried to live my own way. I wish I knew this earlier. I know my life could be so different. But all that matters now is what happens from here. Everything gets better day by day.
I know that I shouldn't be looking for things so intently. They will all happen when I least expect it. I've learned that in the past. It just feels good to finally be at peace and to know what it is that I want and that I am searching for.
I'll admit that it feels good to have someone else loves me. Even if it is not right. It makes me realize that true love can be found again and this time I will be good at it. I will find the last person I will ever kiss.
Five years ago today I was in a coma. There is plenty to be thankful for, even with a banged up heart.
Hope and faith are what life is all about. It saddens me that for so long I tried to live my own way. I wish I knew this earlier. I know my life could be so different. But all that matters now is what happens from here. Everything gets better day by day.
I know that I shouldn't be looking for things so intently. They will all happen when I least expect it. I've learned that in the past. It just feels good to finally be at peace and to know what it is that I want and that I am searching for.
I'll admit that it feels good to have someone else loves me. Even if it is not right. It makes me realize that true love can be found again and this time I will be good at it. I will find the last person I will ever kiss.
Five years ago today I was in a coma. There is plenty to be thankful for, even with a banged up heart.
April's fool
I did some things that will help me let go. I got a new dining room table. I obviously wont be using yours. I threw away the ring catalogs. Its the only way to face the silence.
Bring on the weekend?!
CANCER horoscope for Apr, 10, 2013 (The DailyHoroscope by Comitic)
You may be feeling like you've been abandoned by a higher power, Moonchild. Things have not been going your way in the way you've hoped - and worse, they haven't been working out despite all of your many efforts. You have put your heart and soul into making your life or some aspect of your life much better, but you haven't seen much progress, if any, or built up any significant momentum. But events of the coming weekend will show you how much you are loved, protected, and blessed.
--
Copyright (c) The DailyHoroscope by Comitic
http://bit.ly/DHmobile
Bring on the weekend?!
CANCER horoscope for Apr, 10, 2013 (The DailyHoroscope by Comitic)
You may be feeling like you've been abandoned by a higher power, Moonchild. Things have not been going your way in the way you've hoped - and worse, they haven't been working out despite all of your many efforts. You have put your heart and soul into making your life or some aspect of your life much better, but you haven't seen much progress, if any, or built up any significant momentum. But events of the coming weekend will show you how much you are loved, protected, and blessed.
--
Copyright (c) The DailyHoroscope by Comitic
http://bit.ly/DHmobile
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