Tonight at church group we talked about how sometimes when you are committing small sins over and over again, you do not notice them as much as committing one big sin. This definitely hit home with me. A few months ago I probably would have told people I was living a Christian lifestyle, when nothing could be further from the truth.
I was often selfish. I was looking at material that I should not have been looking at while being committed to someone. I definitely let my temper get the best of me at times. But did I murder someone? No. Did I steal anything? No. Does this mean I was not sinning? Absolutely not.
I realize its the small sins that added up and cost me what I consider right now to be the most important thing that I ever had. I also see that God needed to put me through this struggle for me to ever change. Instead of being angry, I have to see that He has done this to me to bring me closer to him and to save my life. My life was a message in a bottle that would never have reached a shore. Now I can change its direction and give it purpose.
Thank you God for saving me. As much as the pain in my heart is nearly unbearable, I know this is necessary.
