Went to a wedding. Probably one of the last things on earth I wanted to do right now. I sit there and of course picture myself up there with the person that I long to be with. Knowing that dream is over.
I have someone come into my life who would do anything to be with me. A great girl who would love me with all her heart. And I cant be with her because I am in love with someone else. Someone who has my entire heart. Someone who wants nothing to do with me.
I had to hurt someone else. I thought I was already at rock bottom. Then last night I saw the canyon below me and fell.
I need to be alone. God don't let me hurt anyone else. The guilt is unbearable.
I know the pain is only getting worse. But I know this is all my own creation. I am being given this struggle to find true change. I will come out the person that I am meant to be.
