Thank the Lord for family and friends.
They have prevented things from being worse. I am insane. I am not functioning. I was prepared to do crazy things. Things that would have pushed me further down the hole. They kept me from showing up there They kept me out of the jewelery store. They kept me rational. But they cant keep me from fighting. They know what I want. And they pray it happens for me. But they also hold the net to catch me when I come to terms with it not happening.
I am back to church. I realized that the problems I have were because I was committing all of the deadly sins. I Lusted for you in ways that I did not share. I was a Glutton because I was selfish. I was Greedy because I wanted more than what was already giving me happiness. I was a Sloth because I did not give you 100 percent every day. I showed Wrath when I lost my temper for no good reason. I showed Envy in feeling insecure and comparing myself to others. And worst of all I showed Pride when I put my feelings before our love.
The Men's Fellowship group has saved me as much as this blog and as much as my support circle. In this group of men I have found friends who will help me get through anything, and role models to help me become a better man who will concentrate on doing right and putting others before himself. They pray for me everyday and that I will come out of this stronger, with or without us.
I will become the man I should have been. That is one part of my future that is exciting.
