Sunday, May 12, 2013

Everything was sideways.

I feel my internal chemistry changing.  It feels like a cloud has been lifted.   The work that I am doing on myself is starting to show itself.  I got my mojo back.  I had no idea how out of whack my emotions had become.  Everything was sideways.   I am starting to be me again.  This time has a purpose. 
Mothers Day is a hard day to not talk to you.   As is every other day.  I wish that I was farther along in this process of healing.   So do those close to me.   There is only one thing that I desire and I must move on from it. 
Many people have told me recently that life has a funny way.   I wouldn't call this part funny.  Necessary, yes.   I'm still waiting for the part where I laugh.  
Maybe I liked playing the victim.   How screwed up was I then.  I had everything that I ever dreamed of and I messed it up.  People keep trying to remind me that things were not always smooth.   Little do they realize that those problems were only because of my own issues.   That is what I have learned.   I didn't know it when it could be corrected, but now it is clear as day. 
I will keep on keeping on.   Prepared for the next big opportunity.