I cant turn off the switch. I just want to flip it and be done. To be free and clear and to move on. But the current still flows. It seems that you were able to do this. Just flipped us off like a lamp as you exit the room. I just cant do it. Love can not be cut off like that for me.
Maybe the amount of love we have to give in a lifetime is limited. Maybe I have used all of mine up. Maybe Sonny was right. I have someone who wants my heart. Yet there is nothing left. You have it all and there is nothing left to spare. I try and force it. And it feels forced.
Again I could write for hours. There are so many topics that I have become clear on over the past few days. I'll let it trickle out.
We never had what I thought we had. That is the worst part. I feel like such a fool. If we did, it could not of played out like this. You cant just cut off the real thing like a hangnail. I know the ending was my fault. But the rest may not have been.
God gave me this pain to learn from. After this hurt I will be the smartest man alive.
