The day we met I was at rock bottom. I wasn't supposed to be drinking. I had a surgery coming up that I feared would yet again do nothing to help me. I had fought so hard to get back some sort of normalcy after nearly 3 years of torture and misery. And for what? I felt like I still had nothing. Everyone kept telling me how lucky I was to be alive. Yet I did not feel one ounce of luck. And for that, on top of everything else, I was riddled with guilt.
So that night, I let go. I drank. I took pills. I didn't care anymore. I suppose it was a cry for help.
And my cry was answered. A reason for living and trying was put in front of me. It was you.
I looked at the pictures that you sent me right before going in for surgery. It made it so much easier to go under yet again. Knowing that when I came to, there was something there making it all worthwhile.
I ruined everything. Now I will cry for a second chance.
