I've been thinking a lot about the time that I spent in the hospital lately. Its something that I haven't reflected on for some time. I got back to regular life and unfortunately back to regular perspective. I wish I had held on to it more. Now its back on my mind , and probably because I should have figured more out after that time.
As bad as some of these days have been, they simply don't compare to some that I have had. I have to keep telling myself that as much as I hurt. Eating and breathing through tubes is a bad day. I know that I have survived something that almost every person on this earth will never experience. And I have to hold on to that fact, as it will make me keep my perspective.
I'm all in with my church now. Its really all I have left. It is where I should have been before. I can not try to live life based on my own devices. I am not supposed to walk on my own. I'm not good or smart enough to do that. Obviously.
I'm excited about taking this walk. I know that things can not get any worse. I do not know if it will get me what I want, but I will always have hope.
