I know more than ever that you will never forgive me. I will always hope that you will see the good in my heart. I will continue to pray to God to put forgiveness in yours.
I need to continue to do this for me. You are gone for good. Writing this is keeping me afloat. I will relinquish control of any possibility of us to God.
I am done chasing demons. Today my heart was shown more than ever of how I have been living the past years of my adult life.
I have been so scared of intimacy my whole life. And it was all because of how scared I was to let someone in. Because if you let someone in, it leaves you vulnerable. But is life worth living if you are never vulnerable? Without that, one can never feel true love.
I am so excited for the future. I know there is a lot more pain and growth ahead before I will feel happiness and freedom from my past. But I am on the right path. I want to experience connections everyday with the human race. And the better I get at that, the better I will be for my partner. Wherever she is.
Thank you Nate Larkin for your story.
