Friday, April 5, 2013

5 years

Today is five years.  Five years since the beginning of my nightmare.   Five years since I almost left this earth suddenly.   I remember that day like it was yesterday, yet had no idea what was in store for me.   Waking up from a coma with tubes coming out of every part of my body, tubes that were keeping me breathing, keeping me eating.   Not being able to put a single drop of water or food in my mouth for months.  Learning how to walk again.   Living for over a year with a tube coming out of my stomach.  Sleeping nightly covered in my own internal fluids as they leaked out of me.  Four months in a hospital.  Years after a prisoner in my own home.   I thought you had abandoned me.   My anger at you was indescribable and I believed you did not exist.  

Thank you God for letting me stay.  Thank you God for every day since then.   Thank you God for letting me eat again.  Thank you God for letting me drink again.   Thank you God for letting me walk again.   Thank you God for letting me breathe on my own again.  Thank you God for letting the doctors put my body back together again.   Thank you God for letting the wounds heal and the scars fade.   Thank you God for letting me spend more time with my friends and family.   Thank you God for letting me meet my nieces and nephew.  Thank you God for my adorable puppy.   Thank you God for letting me love a wonderful girl again. 

Thank you God for forgiving me for my sins, even though I have continued to make them.   Thank you God for directing me towards you.     Thank you God for second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth and seventh chances.  Thank you God for the plans you have for me.

Thank you God for saving me.   Again.  I love You.  

Your standard of beauty is your spouse.

Your standard of beauty is your spouse. 

This is an amazing video for those of us who have struggled with lust and pornography.  By Pastor Mark Driscoll.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kf6Fi40_mWY

having second thoughts?

CANCER horoscope for Apr, 05, 2013 (The DailyHoroscope by Comitic)

Be careful what you wish for, Moonchild. There is something you have wanted or someone you have wanted to know for a long time. From afar, this desire seemed worth the time and effort it would take to fulfill. It seemed like the right thing. And you wished so hard for it that you have drawn it much closer. Now, though, you may be having second thoughts. And that's okay. Wanting it was a kind of learning experience in itself, and perhaps all that was meant to be was the wanting part. Don't be afraid to change your mind.