Rock bottom.

A great testimony...

Tammy grew up in a Christian home. Both her parents and grandparents knew the Lord. In her early 20s, after her dear grandmother had passed away, Tammy's faith was shaken. Later, when her marriage eroded and turmoil gave way to divorce, Tammy's world seemed to collapse. Finally she hit rock bottom, but then there was nowhere else to look but up—to Jesus her Savior.
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Tammy's Rock Bottom

Matthew 6:33
But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. (NIV)As I openly share my testimony, I pray those who are struggling in their daily lives will find peace and comfort. I also hope my testimony will bring inspiration and hope to anyone who has slipped away from our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

Growing Up in a Christian Home

I want to express my appreciation to my parents and grandparents for taking me to church when I was a child. I grew up in a Christian home, both parents and grandparents are saved by God's wonderful grace (my grandfather was a Baptist preacher). I was saved and baptized when I was 10 years old at Calvary Baptist Church in Center Point, Alabama. My parents provided me with the utmost Christian atmosphere at home and also allowed me to attend a Christian school. They have always been a wonderful influence in my life. When I was 15, I attended a revival with Brother Tim Riley, also at Calvary. Brother Riley preached a "Hell-Fire and Brimstone" message. That night, I gave my heart to Jesus once again, to clear all doubts. I wanted to make sure I had a clear understanding of what it truly meant to be saved. I was also re-baptized.

Slipping Away

In my early 20s, I had begun slipping away from my heavenly Father. My grandmother had fallen and broken her hip and was placed in a rehabilitation clinic. She passed away and was never brought home.
I could not understand why the Lord had taken her from me. She was my inspiration and we were very close. I realized later that she was afraid to be put in a nursing home and preferred to go home to be with the Lord. I was told as she was going to sleep she looked up and smiled as if she were seeing Jesus, and then died peacefully in her sleep. Throughout my 20s and 30s, I fell deep in sin, blaming God for taking my Grandma, and for all the curve balls thrown my way. My God never turned his back on me and I knew he was watching over me. I felt his presence especially when I would go to church (although, I only went for my parents' sake). God was tapping on my shoulder during every service, making it very hard for me to sit through the invitations, for I knew I had betrayed him. I could hear my Grandma singing next to me, "I Surrender All," and "Come Home, Come Home." Eventually I stopped going to church other than on Christmas, Easter, Mother's Day, and Father's Day so I would not feel so pressured and emotional. I still was not able to accept why the Lord had taken my Grandma.

Times of Turmoil

When I turned 30, I married a man who loved to party and have a good time. However, God was not the center of his world or mine at the time. The marriage was good in the beginning, but turned to complete turmoil. We thought about having children, we tried to conceive, but it never happened. We tried and tried to have children until it became more of a chore than an intimate experience. Then we went through the silent "blame," wondering who was at fault ... is it him, is it me? Why won't God let us have a child? After all, so many people in the world have unwanted babies. Teenagers have babies and give them up for adoption ...
I would ask, "Why, Lord, Why? This cannot be happening. I am an only child and I owe my parents the privilege of being grandparents." My husband and I grew more and more distant until he sought love elsewhere. Shortly thereafter, our marriage ended in divorce.

Hitting Rock Bottom

I was filled with dismay. I was ashamed, embarrassed, and felt as though my world had collapsed. I thought I was a complete failure. Sadly, I blamed my heavenly Father. I began drinking more and more to fill the void. The hardest thing I have ever had to do was to call my grandfather and tell him my marriage had ended. My grandfather gave me comfort by quoting Scripture and telling me everything would be all right and that he loved me so much.
For several years, I became totally rotten and hurt my parents. I continued drinking and hanging out in bars and clubs. My parents and grandfather continued to pray for me through all my struggles. I finally realized when I hit rock bottom that God had not turned his back on me; it was I that had walked away from him. God was there all the time, patiently waiting on my return.

One Day at a Time

By this point in my life, I was done with dating, and just lived one day at a time hanging out with friends. One day, an old friend called me out of the blue and said she had tickets to a Kenny Chesney concert. She asked if I would like to join her. I had a great evening of fun with her and her boyfriend in Birmingham, Alabama at the concert. Little to my knowledge, her boyfriend had asked a co-worker to come over to their house after the concert to meet me. Guess what? God works in mysterious ways. That co-worker is now my husband.
In 2010, my husband and I joined Maple Hill Baptist Church in Ardmore, Alabama, and have committed our marriage and ourselves to the Lord. I realized that I had "head knowledge," meaning I could quote Scripture, but I didn't have "heart knowledge," which would allow me to believe and apply the Scriptures to my life.

Seeking God First

Praise the Lord for allowing me to go through all the rough times in order to finally have peace and understanding. God has never left me or forsaken me. Rather, he has a plan for me. He always has.
By seeking God first, and putting him first, he has truly blessed my marriage and filled my void with unconditional love. I realize now it was not God's plan for me to have children in my first marriage, but I don't know why I was not allowed to have children at all. That will be a question (along with many others) to ask him when I get to heaven. However, the Lord has blessed me with two beautiful step-children and a grand baby on the way. God's love and grace is truly amazing. Remember, God has a special purpose for everything that happens in our lives. I believe if we knew the answers beforehand, we would not be able to handle it. God has a plan for each of us. No matter what you have done, where you have been, what you are going through, Jesus cares. He loves, forgives, and most importantly, he saves.