I want to tell you all my secrets. All the stuff I didn't tell you about how I felt about you when we were together. How I looked at you. I don't know why I didn't tell you. I am still trying to figure that out. Insecurity? Intimidation? Fear? And how come I do not feel them holding me back now?
Life is very confusing. The cruelest thing is how we do not see things clearly when we are in the middle of them. But after the fact, clear as glass. I'm still trying to figure out how to handle that. How can I learn from this if I cant apply it?
I feel out of my mind today. Everything is spinning. I still don't trust myself. My thoughts, my actions. How did I willfully let something go that I would regret so much?
The first night we met, the black stockings you wore. I wish I told you how much I loved them and that you should have worn them more. Why do we keep our mouths shut?
God make us your testimony.
