On your knees

Perspective is a word that keeps coming up in my thoughts.   It is something that I lost.   And after all that I have been through, that never ever should have happened.   But it did, and I know that the intense pain that I feel this time around is my punishment and also to ensure that it will never happen again.
I had lost everything once before.   I had no vision of any kind of future.   But then I was given a second chance to have everything.   Yet I could not let go of my anger.   I let everything build up into massive anxiety.   And I forgot where I had been and how far that I came.  This is the biggest sin of my life.  
I know God will forgive me for this.   I just don't know if and when I will be able to forgive myself.  

I am stronger than ever before.  My faith keeps me focused.   I know that the things that I have done are behind me.

But will I ever be able to forgive myself for how I treated you?   I should have never directed any anger towards you for anything.   You did nothing to deserve it.   You loved me truly.  I wish that I was mature enough then to know what love was so I could have grabbed on to it forever.  

I have found so many things on Pintrest that have helped me during this time.   Here is one for today...