My priorities were all out of whack. The most important thing is family. And the most important thing is finding someone you love to make that family with. I had that opportunity and I did not appreciate it every second of every day.
It is all I want now. It consumes me. Who is going to be my wife and how soon will I have children? This is what I think about.
I remember nights you being here and not having those thoughts. Not because I didn't want that. But because I took things for granted. I got caught up in the crap that is every day life. How much work will I have tomorrow...what color should I paint this room...I need to buy milk and cheese. Who cares. That stuff should always be and afterthought.
I think that God will make me wait. He is going to make me wait so I will not screw the next opportunity up. So that I will appreciate it. So that it will be my number one priority.
Nights like these are the hardest part. I just miss sitting with you watching TV. No need to go out. Lets just be together. I had so many of those nights yet I'd give anything for one right now.
I'll keep on keeping on. Hoping for another chance. I want to share this house and my life. Every inch of both. Unlike before.
