The day we met I was at rock bottom.

The day we met I was at rock bottom.  I wasn't supposed to be drinking.   I had a surgery coming up that I feared would yet again do nothing to help me.   I had fought so hard to get back some sort of normalcy after nearly 3 years of torture and misery.   And for what?  I felt like I still had nothing.   Everyone kept telling me how lucky I was to be alive.   Yet I did not feel one ounce of luck.   And for that, on top of everything else, I was riddled with guilt. 

So that night, I let go.   I drank.   I took pills.   I didn't care anymore.  I suppose it was a cry for help.  

And my cry was answered.   A reason for living and trying was put in front of me.  It was you.

I looked at the pictures that you sent me right before going in for surgery.  It made it so much easier to go under yet again.  Knowing that when I came to, there was something there making it all worthwhile.  

I ruined everything.   Now I will cry for a second chance.