I've decided that I need to put a more positive spin on everything. This is my 50th post. Why not make it a turning point. I even deleted some posts that I had scheduled that were written in anger.
What is done is done. As much as I would love to change what has happened, every single human being has wanted the same. And we all know Back To The Future is just a movie. I also know that what has happened, happened to me for a reason. I know it had to go down that way to improve my character and make me realize that I need to get over my intimacy issues and allow me to be an open book to my partner.
I still hope that one day, I will get the chance to apologize to you. The fact that my issues hurt you is a terrible, horrible thing. And I still care about you more than myself.
I will now try and slow every day down. Life for the moment, and live my best. I will continue to live second. And I will continue to have hope while trying to balance it with acceptance.
I will continue to let go of my anger and regret. And I will take this journey one day at a time. I will continue to dream of life's potential.
I forgive you for moving on and will stop judging and assuming things as a result of that.
I know I will still deal with all the stages of grief. But one day, one hour, one minute at a time, I will do my best and battle and learn and become the man God wants me to be. The husband and the father that my family to be determined needs.
P.S. I love you.
No comments:
Post a Comment